- Don't feel or talk about feelings.
- Don't think, figure things out, or make decisions - you probably don't know what you want or what's best for you.
- Don't identify, mention, or solve problems - it's not okay to have them.
- Be good, right, perfect, and strong.
- Don't be who you are because that's not good enough.
- Don't be selfish, put yourself first, say what you want and need, say no, set boundaries, or take care of yourself - always take care of others adn never hurt their feelings or make them angry.
- Don't have fun, be silly or enjoy life - it costs money, makes a noise, isn't necessary and (makes you look stupid.) added by me.
- Don't trust yourself, your Higher Power, the process of life or certain people - instead put your faith in untrustworthy people; then act surprised when they let you down.
- Don't be open, honest, and direct - rather hint, manipulate, get others to talk for you, guess what they want and need and expect them to do the same for you.
- Don't get close to people - it isn't safe.
- Don't disrupt the system by growing or changing.
Beyond Codependency - Melody Beattie.
It is never too late to change I am just a little sad that I didn't know all this years ago. But what the heck, it is now or never.