I am really blessed to have my children and how we have managed to get through some of the stuff we have is nothing short of a miracle. I was watching a Dr Phil show with a family that had about the same amount of drama that we have been through but each member of this particular family was in such a bad way that it looked almost impossible for them ever to sort out their stuff as a family and come out happy, but I know it is.
My kids are awesome. They are very different from each other in every single way, which fascinates me as a mom and I see a little piece of me in all three of them, good and bad. We are extremely close, but I think because we are 4 girls and now 5 with my grand daughter we stick together life 5 petals of the same flower, and the boys, my son in law and two grandsons are the stalk and the leaves! I have been thinking a lot about my kids today, not that I don't always but perhaps because of all this deep work I am doing with the therapist it makes me SO grateful that I have the time to be with them and heal and change what needs to be changed. I have absolutely No regrets in life, it is what it is, but I would give my life over and over again, to have done things differently with my girls. I am so proud of them, they are incredible, loving, kind, caring, compassionate, generous, funny, talented ...but they have been hurt deeply by the choices I made.
I want to help them deal with their pain and give them a voice to express how they feel and confront me if they need to, I am okay with that. For now, they are all doing fine but I know that when you get married, have children of your own, all of a sudden the questions come...why? I am ready for that.
I am feeling wonderful today and SO HAPPY. It has been a long time. The one thing I am thankful for, is that I have made some amazing friends on the Internet over the past 5 years, very dear and special friends the only problem is that they are spread all around the world, or I promise I would have everyone over for a splashed up lunch so that I could say Cheers with a glass of bubbles...thank you.
Would you like to join Caryl's Internet lunch club? During my divorce I met with a group of girlfriends once a month and we had the most amazing times together. Let me know if your interested and we can share blogs, art, recipes and bubbles if we want to.