I was watching a program this morning which really moved me. The message was about Sympathy and Compassion. Sympathy is a FEELING one has for another person, Compassion is MOVING for another person. When I got divorced 5 years ago I felt tremendous sympathy for the thousands of other women just like myself who have experienced any kind of abuse from the people who said they loved them. But most of all I really felt very sad for the child with in me. My childhood was abusive and I swore it would never happen to me as an adult and more importantly I would never allow my own children to grow up in an abusive home. Well I did.
When I wrote my book my intention was to show COMPASSION to other women around the world and to create more awareness of how families suffer at the hands of an abusive partner. I started the organisation of PAINE - Abuse Is No Excuse with the website of the same name adding all the informtion that I could, from all the sources that I had found help myself. Five years ago I stumbled upon a website called MSN- Narcissistic Personality Disorder which was a website for victims of Domestic Violence. I was amazed at the amount of information I found there. For many months I interacted with many other women in the same situation as myself. The most important thing for me at the time was to realise that I was not alone.
Suddenly for the first time in 50 years, things started to make sense for me and so my healing began. I was so utterly desperate and alone that I knew I had to write a book and share my own story so I started to journal. Well I filled 6 journals full, with stories, art work, hatred, tears and pain. But from those journals my book was written and published.