Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Haunted Past

In the last 5 years there have been literally hundreds of times that I have been awake til the early hours of the morning, haunted with memories, both good and bad. Fearing going to sleep incase my dreams are frought with nightmares. I would often dream of the abuse and go through all the emotions all over again, or I would dream that I was blissfully happy with my X and life was great. I think I lived in a dream world of promises and would just never accept the 'truth' that I as not loved enought to be treated with love and respect.
 During the day I was haunted by visiting familiar places and bumping into familiar people. Shopping malls are still my very worst, I hate them... perhaps not a bad thing :o) You get what I mean.


Shaz said...

I hope that you NEVER believe the lie that you are not worthy of love and respect because you absolutely are.

Caryl said...

Shaz.... thank you...looked for your profile and didn't find one... !