Saturday, March 5, 2011

Can things get worse?

When things can't get any worse they often do. The past couple of weeks I haven't been blogging much. I have been packing and moving from Cape Town back to Johannesburg. My heart has been heavy and I have wondered over and over if I was doing the right thing. Around and around my thoughts go in my head, the things I loved about Cape Town compared to the family I missed so much. I must be doing the right thing.
As 'D' day was drawing near, I was surrounded with packed boxes all around the apartment, I was anxious but at the same time looking forward to all the new things that are about to change when I get back.

My eldest daughter, who moved to Cape Town impulsively in December, phoned me to see how the weather was on my side of the mountain. For anyone who doesn't know this Cape Town is really strange, the weather can be raining on one side of the mountain and sun shinning on the other, or windy in Kommetijie and absolutely still in Blouberg, or vice versa. On this particular day it was a beautiful day where she was and very windy in Blouberg where I was living. She called me to suggest we go for a walk on the beach with 'the children', hers and mine, the cousins ! I warned her that the weather was cold and windy and she said she didn't mind she needed to get out.

She arrived with her three little dogs, Chillie who is a dachshund and the oldest of her 3 and the favourite. Moggy who is a Pekineses sweet little dog but doesn't have chillies personality. Then there is Mr. Magoo who is the baby and according to her doesn't have much personality but he is a calm peaceful kind of dog.
Of course I had Bella with me. It was really windy but the dogs chased each other up and down the beach and it really was very sweet to watch.
A few days later Lee decided to take her little doggies to the beach on her own. For some unknown reason, Mr Magoo this little one above suddenly let out a yelp and couldn't move his back legs. She rushed him off to the vet and he had slipped a disc in his back and had to stay at the vet over night. They weren't sure if he would be alright or if he would have to be put down. The cost for an MRI was so expensive Lee just didn't have the cash to pay for it. The following day Mr Magoo was a lot better and over several days he improved considerably. He was staggering a little with his back legs but not crying. Lee just has to keep an eye on him.

About a week later I received a phone call from her to say that she was as the vet with Chillie and he was paralysed in his back legs. He apparently jumped off her bed and let out a scream and exactly the same thing happened to him as what happened to Mr. Magoo only this time not with the same results. I am not sure exactly what went wrong, but the vet said he woudl be paralysed.
 Chillie was put down yesterday morning and Lee is absolutely heart broken.

Can anything more go wrong? There are times for all of us when we ask that question and things can get worse at the worst possible moment. When I was younger it was these out of control moments that would send me into a spiral of depression that would cripple me for weeks, but not anymore. I have learned not to fight and resist but to let things be. These past few months have been tough for me, when my children hurt, I hurt too... a whole lot.  Chillie was not my dog, but my daughter is my child.
Some of my friends have been through really tough times in the past few months and I have often wondered, 'can things get any worse?' I choose not to ponder on that question, but to ride out the storm and wait for it to pass. Things always improve, life does get back to normal, laughter does return... we just have to have FAITH and trust that TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY. 

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