Friday, February 18, 2011

Oh Lord help me deal with this pain !

This is my darling Aunt Phyl. My mother was the youngest of four and Phyl was the third youngest.  My life as a young girl was painful and full of turmoil and Phyl was always there for my brother and I.  I have so many memories of her. I spent a lot of time with  her when I was a child and my single mother was working. Phyl was kind, comforting and always made me feel special.  She believed in me, my capabilities and my future. I hope that God will give me some more time.... just a little.
 I don't know why God brings certain people into our lives... to teach us... and I learned a lot from her.
She was married to her first husband and had two children... my cousins. There marriage was hard, just after the war, and everyone was making a new life for themselves in Zimbabwe, I think they had problems but we never knew or understood what their problems were.
My aunt and uncle got divorced and a few years later Phyl married her second husband... a difficult but kind man. He was critical of her and found fault with everything, but he was good to us as a family.
Divorce does that to people... they move on... but they don't deal with the emotions of the past.
My darling aunt Phyl and her husband had two more children. The eldest Andrew, who was killed during the Zimbabwe war. I don't think the family was ever the same again. My uncle passed away a few years later heart broken at the loss of his only son. Phyl took over keeping the family together, through thick and thin.
Through the reclaiming of the farms in Zimbabwe, the support of her children and so much heart ache over the war that claimed her son. She was forced to return to England without her family for security and there she lived in a little appartment with her older sister for several years before returning to Zimbabwe to be with her children.
When you are growning older it is amazing to me what becomes important... she traded medical health and financial security, to be with her family in Zimbabwe no matter what!
My precious Phyl.... she has enjoyed the last years of her life in Zimbabwe, the country that she loves and where she found so much happiness. The country that her two husbands died and her son.... life is really strange to me, it is almost as if.... she had to come home. She has just had the second of two stokes and is unconscious so I am not sure what is happening at the moment.

I know that I am sharing some pretty personal stuff here... but... this is who I am.... what makes me tick... makes me care so much for other people.... makes me think about the meaning of life.


Say It In Color said...

Hey Caryl....just checking on you and see your entry about your Aunt....a precious and heartfelt story of real life...I pray you are in His hands and He is rocking you like His baby girl in His arms....I pray for strength,comfort and healing for you....Love you in Jesus my friend! sherry

Ellie said...

This is the first time I've visited your blog. As I read your post my eyes tear. May you find peace and strength through your faith.