I was watching a program on TV about a psychologist who deals with women in prison for murder. She was explaining that most of these women have been severly abused as children. When we are able to 'Embrace our wounded soul, like a mother who cradles her baby', we will not harbour hatred and bitterness toward others. It is when we resist that part of who we are, that we seek revenge.
I am going away for a few days so I will not be blogging until I get back on the 1st April, so I will leave you with this thought.
I started this painting last year and had to stop because I had a lot of other art work that I needed to do for the Christmas season. I have been working on it again in the past few days, but I still have a long way to go with this one and I am struggling with it. When I don't paint for a few months I lose the touch, it can be very frustrating. But with lots of encouragement from my friend Sharon I will persevere.
I love collecting them. Four of these were given to me by my eldest Daughter for Christmas and I love them. The pewter one on the left was made by me for a friend. I wasn't happy with the way it turned out so I haven't given it to her yet! The one in the middle with the stone on top was made my me. The stone is a heart I found on the beach.
A sure sign that I am stressing. When I was getting divorced and honestly no words could ever discribe my stress levels, my hair fell out in handfuls. It would be all over the floor, my pillow, my clothes it was really bad. For reasons that I cannot share here, my hair is falling out again.Why am I saving it, well I was thinking of sending it to China and getting a wig made. No seriously, this really isn't a joke anymore. I am desperate for someone to come up with a solution for me. Avocado, mayonaise, chutney what ever..I have to do something. Sorting out what is stressing me would be a good start I guess!
I do a lot of 'dark' manipulations that I purposely try to give strong messages, but in order to keep the balance in my own emotions I have to do pretty things now and again. I was thinking about taking naps when I was younger and I always used to pretend that I was in some sort of fantasy world, so that I could fall asleep. This one pretty much shows how my world looked.
I have been doing a lot of research lately for my website. Understanding the nature of the 'beast' so to speak. I came across the website awhile ago and as much as it is for men, the information applies to both men and woman who are in abusive relationships. There is no difference actually, a Narcissist is just that, males and females operate the same way. I'm sorry for my sense of humour but I did laugh at this video. How can anyone redeem themselves after this? Crazy woman Please be warned, the language is not great the behaviour even worse, but this is the other side of the story which has to be told. Childish immature behaviour but it happens.
I have to remember why I started this blog and that was not only to share my art work, but to share my healing with anyone who might be interested. My book was the last chapter of many years of abuse, but only when the book was published did my healing really begin and it has taken a long time. I am researching information for my website on women who abuse men which inspired this photo manupulation.
The other day I noticed that my neighbour had a huge cactus in his garden. He is an old man and doesn't do any gardening so it really is wild in his NON garden. I saw a garden man 'trying' to pick up some leaves and asked him to please pick some fruit off the cactus for me. He used an old coffee cup that was on the ground, yes that is how messy his garden is! The cup was protecting his hands from the prickles. I knew that I would have to be careful but obiously not careful enough. Serves me right for stealing the old mans fruit!
This doesn't look that appetizing but trust me it was delicious. You really are going to laugh at this one. When I was preparing the prickly pears, cutting away the skin using a knife and fork, I thought I was being sooo careful, but the tiny little prickles were all over the board where I was cutting up the fruit which went into the paw paw! My mouth was watering when I finally got to take a nice big mouthful. It tasted delicious but a short while later, something was wrong ! Very wrong, I had tiny prickles on my tongue, and the odd one on my lips. Now I don't see too good, so I have done my best to try and see where they are and remove them with tweezers, but without success. I have eaten everything I possibly can today, cleaned my teeth and scraped my tongue with my brush, but I can still feel this little tine pricks in my mouth. So now I have to throw the rest of my fruit salad away. I know what you are thinking !
This stuff is disgusting. I don't care if it has 25 billion probiotics, it tastes like chicken poop ! yes I know, now you want to know where I have eaten chicken poop? You need to remember, I grew up in Zimbabwe and spent all my school holidays on my aunt and uncles farm. We played everywhere including in the chicken run. Hummm I don't want to go into details but I do remember rubbing something off my foot and wiped it across my mouth by mistake.... Yuk !
I have put some jewellery in the box, but that is not what I would use it for. Because it is supposed to be a 'journal', I would put all the things in it that I would normally glue into a book, wine cork, pen, labels, receipts from a restaurant, post card, what ever occassion it was that I wanted to remember.
I am giving a workshop on Saturday so I am making up some samples. I wish I had my printer then I wouldn't have to take my own artwork I could just print them out and use those. I have 15 registered for the class so thats all good.
I must admit for all the meals I miss, I never miss breakfast. When I was young and growing up with my mother who was working she left my brother and I to make our own breakfast which we never did. So for many years, infact until recently I have never been someone who eats breakfast. So I am quite pleased with myself that I have acquired some discipline.
I am getting fed up with the high cost of things I enjoy :o( so I decided to make my own muesli. There are a few incredients missing like the honey and seseme seeds. I don't eat very well and I do know that without the right foods my health has gotta take a knock some where, so at least I am trying!
Isn't this just beautiful. I absolutely love it. When my daughter was studying art, she did some beautiful etchings and this reminds me of an etching. The colours work perfectly with my lounge so I was thrilled to receive this. Thank you Nancy.
I had some fun with my camera today. I think we all get into a creative rut at times. Nancy Donaldson sent me a beautiful gift this week and I was thrilled to receive it. wanting to reciprocate I wasn't sure what to share with her so today I made lots of bits and pieces and then will make my decision next week. But while I was painting, cutting up bits and pieces, taking photographs I took this picture. I wanted it to look blurred without doing it in PS. Very happy with the result.
Take a look at Nancy's blog.http://allpulpedout.blogspot.com/
I spent 12 years of my life resolutely learning how to kill, carrying out deadly missions, fighting hand to hand to conquer the enemy, to send them to their deaths or running in fear. I was not going to roll over and surrender. My anger was part of the crusade to fight death . . . which I believed in with absolute certainty.
Then suddenly one day all the death I had caused came up and slapped me across the face. I saw how wrong I was and how the death I had caused was theft. Yes, killing is theft. I had misunderstood the nature of death, believing it was justifiable.
In all the cities, countries, dangerous and mad places in which I had fought and killed, I thought I was trying to bring order and a better way of life, but I became horrified by what I had done. It was as though I had awoken from a dream.
I cannot give back the lives I took, but I know now that it is life that's important. Now I strive every day to be a compassionate, big hearted, caring person. Anytime I even think about getting angry with anybody, I see death and I remember: life is everything.
I wanted to share with my visitors an artist who's work I saw for the first time in London in the early 80's. I have two limited editions of his work and he really is one of my favourite artists. His work is so different to my own and as a water colour artist I really admire his work.
Inspired by the beautiful Journals that DJ makes. I had to make one today. I didn't have the materials at all, so the next best thing was to make the journal out of two boxes some paper napkins, scraps of paper and a nightie that I used to love. It reminded me of my X husband, so I cut it up and used the flowers, lace and the ribbon straps. It isn't finished but I ran out of time today so I will work on it again tomorrow. I will also try and add the link to DJ's blog. She's famous for her beautiful work!
I happen to love ginger and quite like lemon. I found these the other day in a local chinese shop. The label said Lemon and ginger sweets so I thought great I will love these...wrong. They were so darn hot my eyes were watering. Be warned!
The drive down to Blue Peter. For anyone who lives around here, you can imagine the walks on the beach that they must take daily. There are so many pretty houses here right on the beach. Doesn't everyone want to live like this? Peace and quiet and so good for the soul.
Stan and I have been communicating for ages via email but this was the first time we met. He really is a great guy. We spent quite a while chatting because I wanted to know what was motivating him to commit to something as big as this. Hummm he has an interesting story. You go Stan! Good Luck
I had never met Stan before so it was really nice to get together with him and say thank you. I think Stan found Cera Tan quite amusing, she is a real clown and I think I was trying to tell her to behave!
My daughter Cera Tan on the left and I, met with Stan and Chantel from Ride Alive. It was a little bit of a celebration to say thank you to them both for undertaking to do this ride and raise funds for the organisation. Hats off to both of you and we wish you a safe trip.
The paper looks blue, but it was actually white, this is just a bad picture. When I am doing a quick sketch in my journals I really don't pay too much attention to perfection. The whole point is just to catch the moment and the mood, quickly. Any one who journals knows that when you look back at these journals years later, the picture brings you back instantly to that moment, that time and that feeling.
When ever I go for a long walk on the beach I always take my little art nap sack. This particular day I noticed these two couples enjoying their retirement savings! and I just had to stop and paint them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kjWBgA81LM Most people would look at this video and be a little nervous, I could think of worse things to do. This is one of my favourite video's. I believe animals know when you are nervous... I would get eaten alive in that case.
I am a MOM to 3 beautiful daughters and GRANDMOTHER to 3..so far.
TEACHER of Art,Pewter,Journaling and Crafts is what I do for a living.
PUBLIC SPEAKER and AUTHOR of the book Look Me In The Eye, and COUNSELLING is what I give back in service to others.
My purpose in life was to LEARN.
My Destiny is to INSPIRE and EMPOWER others and to continue to GROW in my personal journey.
Please do not copy, or reproduce ANY of my work with out my permission. All my work is copy right.
If you are visiting from my website www.abuseisnoexcuse.co.za, please do not leave me any messages here but rather share your story on Face Book
Please don't forget to go to the bottom of the page and feed my fish, I sometimes forget.