This post is for my precious dog child - BELLA.
When I was married for those of you who may not have read my book, I had 3 dogs one of them Sushi belonged to my youngest daughter but she became mine. She was my absolute soul mate unlike any human could ever be. Sushi spent every waking moment right at my heels or on my lap at the slightest opportunity. I loved the other two, a lab Max and a male maltese Harley but Sushi was my favourite. We were one.
While I was getting divorced my ex husband prevented me having Sushi or even seeing her. He had changed all the locks of our home and there was no way for me to get to her except on occasion I drove past the house we shared and spent time patting the dogs through the security fence.
Three months later Sushi was run over in his drive way and a few months later Harley was run over in the same way. Words cannot describe the pain. There was a huge hole in my heart for a long time.
I vowed I would never have pets again.
About 4 years later my heart relatively healed... I said relatively. I bought another little maltese and called her Bella. Not an original name I know but she was truly beautiful. I have had her for 3 years and not one day has passed that she has not made me laugh. She has a totally different personality to Sushi who was quiet and very submissive. Bella was more energetic and wild at heart. This past 3 years she healed my heart in ways medicine and therapy couldn't. We played together, laughed together and slept together.
The problems started as I got better or should I say my heart started to heal and I became more functional. I needed to work more and socializing was out of the question because she hated being left alone and often I couldn't take her with me. Often when I would be working at home for long periods of time she would sit close by and whimper and I knew she wanted me to play. The two of us would either go for a walk or I threw the ball for her in my garden. As soon as she was tired she would fall asleep on the couch and resume what ever work I was doing. This simply couldn't continue.
The only way I could rationalize finding a new family for her was to continually remind myself that I cannot bare animals kept in cages or captivity period, unless it is for them to be rehabilitated. Bella wasn't happy, of course she was over the moon when I spent time with her but that was becoming more and more difficult.
I have found her a new home where there is another maltese for her to play with and an owner who loves her to bits so all I can do now is trust that I made the right decision for 'her'.
Life constantly has it's twists and turns and we just have to deal with things as they come our way. My life goes on with sadness but tomorrow brings new experiences I am sure.