My secret place

Step into my world

There are places that I go when I meditate, I have never shared this before, but as I am walking through the journey of healing would you like to join me on this one. YOU ARE INVITED

Goddess

I love sharing links with people who follow my blog. Since I am on the subject of healing I had to share this blog with you Healing Woman. I have always loved the idea that there is a Goddess with in all women. I am also very keen to try sculpture and would love to do my grandchildren, am I biting off too much do you think? Scroll through this blog there are some lovely things to see and read.

SLEEP DEPRIVATION

For the next few weeks I will be posting issues to deal with PTS on this site as well as the other blog ABUSE IS NO EXCUSE, link because we are coming to that time of the year when we are dealing with the issues of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. PTS can be the result of any trauma, but I am relating it to DV.

If you are struggling with insomnia please go to this website. On virtually every program that I have been watching lately, Dr. Phil, Oprah, 3 Talk, Final Justice, CI and various magazines, they are all covering Domestic Violence. It may be boring, depressing for those who have never worn those shoes, but it is far worse for those who have, or are still there. Please be patient, we are all trying our best to bring awareness to this global problem and find some solutions.

I am sharing my own experience on the other blog, please go there if you struggle with lack of sleep and nightmares.

HEALING IN MEDITATION

Many Christians are against the idea of practising Yoga. I remember many years ago being taught in my church that we are not to practice any Eastern religious practices. I don't see yoga as anything more than a wonderful form of exercise and meditation practice. The bible does speak of, 'Seek the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding'. 'Be still and know that I am God'. Every religion teaches we are to learn to be quiet and meditate.

PLEASE SUPPORT US.
Stress and depression can affect anyone, meditation and massage is a wonderful way to find healing it has been researched and proven that these practices increase cortisol, the feel good hormone.

POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER

For the artists who follow my blog look at the rest of Bruno Leyval's art.

I am sorry I have not been here for quite awhile. I always have to remember that this blog was started in 2007 so that I could share my recovery from Domestic Violence and perhaps help other victims.

It sure as heck has been one long tough journey.

Art has been my outlet for all my frustrations, struggles, escape, and healing and I am still not there yet. The biggest problem that I find is that professionals don't diagnose correctly. It is all well and good when people have struggles in life to say... why don't you see a therapist? I have, many of them and I am sure many other victims of violence have as well, but if you don't see the right person it can add to the fear, disappointment, PTS and ultimately healing. In my own case it has been 3 steps forward, 2 steps back.
This reminds me a lot of when I was younger and had anorexia when I was modelling. Many people commented on my weight or lack of it... you look so skinny, you look fabulous, you need to eat more, you look terrible... but no one said... I think you are anorexic. In those days, way back then... no one knew about anorexia until Karin Carpenter died and Jane Fonda admitted having Bulimia. So it wasn't as well known as it is today. I cannot blame anyone for not confronting me, I didn't think I had a problem.

Most of the time it has to get this bad before anyone will say... this is anorexia and you are going to die unless you get some help.
PTSD is much the same. People say... oh you must be so much happier on your own, at least the abuse has stopped and you don't have to live with that anymore.... but no one knows what is happening on the inside. Yes I was glad I was away from my abuser. He is not my enemy... my memory is. I thought I was doing just fine and slowly but surely I would be happy again, but I was doing all kinds of things to avoid facing the truth. I was completely broken on the inside, cracked, and bleeding profusely. No one could see that, so as long as I looked okay on the outside people around me thought I must be doing alright... not so. As long as I could keep myself busy doing my artwork 24/7, drink umpteen cups of tea, stay away from the outside world.... I would be fine... WRONG. I was setting myself up for a complete break down by denying the severity of my situation. I did try to get professional help but I don't think anyone thought I was struggling as much as I was.
When is enough enough? When is the day that it all comes crashing down, what will it take for the pain to end and healing to begin? I was constantly being told... I am so strong and brave... I wasn't... I was hanging on by my fingernails.
I am going to be journalling about PTSD on my ABUSE IS NO EXCUSE BLOG so please go over there and follow me if you need some help.

When things go wrong they go seriously wrong

I was admitted to hospital recently and given a cocktail of medicines against my wishes. Today I thought I was good enough to go!. I took out some art work that I thought I could do while I was watching TV. I have been having some wobbles, but I thought I had them under control. I decided to paint all the borders of paintings that I have done over the months with black borders. Well before  long I bumped over a bottle of black paint that went EVERYWHERE. All over my persian carpet, my beautiful couch, my clothes  my jersey I was wearing and all over me... my face, my hair everywhere.

Let me tell you about my daughters. I have 3 of them. The eldest arrived to bring me some meds from the chemist, she saw what  looked like, said nothing and her reaction was to tell me how to perhaps clean it. She didn't looked shocked although I was covered in paint.
My second daughter, had she arrived, would have been in with all kinds of cleaning material. she would have taken all my dirty clothes put them in the washing machine and she would have wanted to see everything sorted and under control.  My youngest.... would have been on the floor laughing. She would  have taken out her camera, taken a picture of my new black hair, laughed her head off and done nothing to help me fix he problem.

I love my girls..... but I would like to see my Persian carpet clean... any ideas?

Oh I forgot to mention. After this catastrophe I thought I would relax and finish a painting that I had been working on for some time. I set up my workspace, nice and clean on my dinning room table. I put some turps into an old yogart container and started painting. The next think I notice if that all my oil paint is messed everywhere, there is turps everywhere and all of a sudden  I realise that turps eats trough plastic. I don't want to describe the mess..... so I did the best to clean up and that was me for the day !!!!!

Zentangles The Godess within.

I haven't been blogging lately as I gave been struggling really badly with PTS. It was advised to me by my therapist that I meditate and try and do things that will really distract me. This really works because although there looks like some sense of design, there really isn't until I start seeing a face appear.

I guess in some weird kind of way I would like to wear a head dress like this and live in a world that I can create for myself.

Okay we won't try and analyse this one, but it was a wonderful meditation.  My mind races with memories so this is like doing Mandalas except that it doesn't have any set design. I think  I could get addicted.

I am also starting to get ready for my Christmas show in  October. This little picture took about  an hour and a half and I think turned out really well. Nice to use up all the scrap pewter.

Blushing Bride

Anyone who follows my blog can see that I really love flowers and the Blushing Bride is my favourite. It flowers in September and is really hard to find. They don't last long, but when you dry them after you have enjoyed the fresh flower they dry beautifully.

The Blusing Bide is the soft pink inbetween the roses.

Sea Glass Chandaliers

I haven't got much time anymore to post my own art work so every now and again I find something really special and just have to share it. A friend of mine was collecting sea glass and she posted some pictures on Facebook. One of her friends left a comment and a link to follow and these are the beautiful chandaliers made with sea glass by this amazing artist. I couldn't save some of my faves but follow the link and take a look for yourself. Riaan Chambers

Soul Restoration

By now, those who visit my blog regularly will know that I love searching for beautiful blogs that restore my soul, this is one that I found recently and I think the reason I love going there so often is that I love the music that plays in the background while I brows through all the stunning pictures. Sharing is caring and this is really worth sharing.

Bel-decor

I DARE YOU

This is seriously NO JOKE. I friend of mine has actually been in this pool and he isn't normal and neither is anyone else who would want to do this. Google Devil's Pool at Victoria Falls and take a look at some of the video footage.

What a lovely holiday for the whole family... NOT !

Okay not I need a drink !

My Favourite blog this week.

I am freezing here in Johannesburg so I really enjoyed looking at these photo's. This is the blog I go to when I want to escape into a very beautiful world of fashion. The Alternative Wife I so often go to this site just to browse it really is so beautiful. Follow all her links and you will disappear into a world of fashion and beauty.

Give Aways

I have never done this before, so this is a first. There are a lot of people who visit my blog from my website who don't leave comments but I am so pleased that you do drop by. I would like to encourage anyone who doesn't have a blog to give it a try, it really is fun and there are some beautiful, caring and talented people out there in the big wide world.
What I am going to do for this first time give away just to see what people really enjoy in my own work is to offer a few give aways just to see the reaction. The one that recieves the most comments will be the one that is given away. You need to say which one you would like to receive if you are the lucky one.

I will be sending two faces. One will be on fabric and one will be on paper. Do with them what you will.

These six little love birds can be used for many different things. Use them in journals, prayer flags, key rings, mobiles what ever.

I will send you an item of pewter for you to use where ever you would like. In other words, you send me the dimensions and I will make something suitable.

We have only got a short while so hurry to leave a comment that is all you have to do :o)

Featured Blog Carolyn Saxby

CAROLYN SAXBY

As promised I am going to feature every week some of my favourite blogs. Oh wow how inspiring Carolyn Saxby is with her beautiful work. I have been admiring her for a very long time. Somewhere on my blog I posted one of her hearts about a year or two ago.

What I love about her is not only her magnificent sense of colour, but the sensitive way she communicates through her work. I am not going to say too much about her, I want you to pay her a visit and leave her lots of messages. She has been sick recently with flu and I am sure she could do with some cheering up.

Carolyn has two blogs and a flickr account, take the time to go and see all her work, she really is amazing.
Love Stitching Red. Follow her links to the sketchbook projects 2011, beautiful work, but a very sad story for inspiration.
Flickr account.

If you don't waste most of your day browsing through all her work then I will be very surprised. No matter what medium you work with you will be inspired by her breath taking work.

Prayer Flags

I have a friend her name is Lunette. I found this blog about prayer flags and really wanted to make some for her. She is being treated for cancer and we are all trusting that she will be healed. Please if you are reading this... just say a little prayer for her I know she would appreciate it.

Jane is a multi talented artist and you can see some of her prayer flags which is where I got the idea.

Jane made this one. Please go and visit her blog... trust me you will really be inspired.

THE PRAYER FLAG PROJECT.

Laughing with angels

When I have sad days, there is nothing I enjoy more than searching for blogs that lift my spirit and leave me feeling there is so much to be thankful for, this is one of them. Laughing with angels

Please don't ignore them.

Amazing Artist. Teresa Posyniak

I have not been blogging for a while now, too busy dealing with some demons of my own that rear their heads every now and again. Most of the people who visit this blog come via my website, www.abuseisnoexcuse.co.za, but I also have a lot of very talented artist friends around the world who occassionally pop in to leave a comment. Where ever you come from, please I need your help. Will you show your support and stand up agains DOMESTIC VIOLENCE against women and children by following this blog and leaving a comment. http://abuseisnoexcuse.blogspot.com/

For most of you, I hope this is not an experience you are familiar with, but if one looks at the statistics there is bound to be someone close to you who is in this situation and we have to continue to speak out against all forms of abuse.

Prayer Flags

Jane is an incredible artist multi talented and you have to go and see some of her work. I did a course with her last year which was fantastic and changed my style of journalling completely. I have always kept art journals, but Jane had such a simple and quick way of capturing memoies in art. She has been making prayer flags for a while which I think is an awesome idea. JaneVille. I have lots to pray about so I am going to start this one today.

Comfort dolls and Prayer flags

I haven't been blogging for while I have been far too busy settling in back home in Johannesburg and trying to find work. I was really doing so well in Cape Town and since I have been back I have to start making contacts from scratch. Cape Town is truly the art capital of South Africa, thousands of artists live there involved in every single art imaginable. People are drawn to Cape Town for the arts so when some people said I might struggle with competition they were wrong, there is enough for everyone.
Johannesburg is quite different. I think the wealthy are quite happy to buy prints to hang on their walls, they are not crazy about markets, I think they would rather buy their jams and jewels from huge shopping centers and they consider most artists to be weird!
I have been teaching pewter classes at a particular venue but I am also teaching in peoples homes as long as there are a group of ladies who can get together for the class. It is going okay but I still have lots of work to do.
 There are two things I want to start this week which I think are absolutely brilliant ideas... love them love them. I want to start my own prayer flags and I also want to start a comfort doll collecting for PAINE - Please ABUSE IS NO EXCUSE www.abuseisnoexcuse.co.za  If you are interesting in sending me a comfort doll I really would appreciate it you can contact me via my email address for a physical address.

If you would like to read up more about prayer flags and follow some of the links please drop by for a visit to PRAYER FLAGS.

Thanks for popping by have a beautiful day.

Phillipa Devilliers

I have been away for a while don't really want to go into why, but today I was listening to an interview on the radio and a listener called in and read a poem on air... his name was Matthew and I am doing everything I can to find him so that I can share the poem here on my blog. I was so moved by both of them I wanted to post some links and introduce Phillipa and later I will introduce Matthew.
Phillipa is a young South African poet with an incredible life story and her poetry reflects her history. She has written more than one book but this one in particular was being discussed today. THE EVERYDAY WIFE.

Matthew's poem SHE has been moved to the ABUSE IS NO EXCUSE blog

http://abuseisnoexcuse.blogspot.com/