LOOK ME IN THE EYE - Second Edition

The second edition of my book is now available. Please click on the AMAZON LINK

True Recovery from the Psychopath

It has been a long time since I have posted anything about my own recovery and that is possibly because once you are healed completely moving on with your life and enjoying all the wonder of it becomes more important than continuing to talk about it.
I found this amazing blog recently which I think has some incredibly interesting posts on the subject I thought I would share it with visitors to this blog.

TRUE RECOVERY FROM THE PSYCHOPATH. I still receive emails from people via my website and help where I can but perhaps you will find support from others on this site, who are also still struggling to work through the healing. It takes time and discussing things with other survivors is more helpful than doing it on your own.

My book is still available so if you need a copy please contact me via my website or contact me on Facebook.

Stay strong.
Caryl X

LOOK ME IN THE EYE

Hi to all those people out there who have visited my website and still come back time and again to get the information that is available on the site and hopefully get the help you need. My book is still available for anyone who needs a copy all you need to do is contact me and I will make arrangements to get it to you.
Please don't forget to go to the abuse is no excuse blog and you can purchase it there too.

It has been such a long time since I wrote about my own journey and thank goodness those years are long gone and my life has been back on track for a long time. It is so sad to me to know that this is not an unusual story and many women around the world have been through and are still going through similar situations to my own. I don't see things getting any better as far as the legal system goes so all one can hope for is that if you are reading this, you will make the decision yourself to END THE ABUSE. Of course I know that it is not easy and I know when there are children it is even more difficult, but have a plan and stick to it.

I have always thought that being in an abusive relationship is like being held captive, similar to a hostage being held captive by terrorists. The trauma and fear is no different. As women we are SO much stronger than we think we are and when we put our minds to something we can usually achieve the results we need. Plan your escape in the same way. Pray about it, dream it, believe it and put small things in place until one day, you will be free.

Stay strong.
Caryl

 

The sun is shining and the birds are singing in the trees and I am preparing to go off to Clarens for a week on an art retreat with an incredibly talented artist Peter Hall a well known South African artist. I have never been on an art retreat before, which is strange since I am an artist and make my living from art, so this is a real treat. 

For many years I wouldn't have been able to go away with 16 strangers. My own PTSD was so bad that strangers would have pushed my anxiety levels through the roof, today I am going away with great excitement and peace in my heart. Looking forward to meeting people, and looking forward to the whole experience.  I promise to post some pictures when I get back.

Have an awesome week while I am away.

 

The reason for my last post was to enourage those who visit this blog. When you have been to hell and back, life has a completely different value than before. Friendships are more genuine, life is more fun, the sky looks bluer than ever before and the future is promising.

Coincidence? I don't think so. The other day I was searching for some reference photo's to use for some paintings I want to work on. Spending quite a few hours browsing the internet, I came across a picture and followed the link which led to another link . After reading the post it really made me think. I was reading all about someone else, who knows where in the world this person is, but she was struggling with nightmares which really caught my attention.
Many people have difficulties trying to heal a broken heart, the disappointment, the loss, the loneliness. I thought I would share this with you because perhaps you will relate and can also encourage her with your own stories as to how you healed your own life, and if you are also in that same dark space, perhaps you can be of some support for one another.

Persisting Nightmares?

this comes a little surprise I know but 8 years later and the nightmares still persist. Not as often as before, but I do still have them occasionally. Unlike in the past when I woke up either screaming or crying out loud, my nightmares now are intense but over fairly quickly and I am very aware that it is part of the recovery from PTSD and I am told might continue on and off for the rest of my life. I hope not.
I don't want this to sound discouraging, there is little we can do about memories but after many years of struggling the nightmares were the most persistent, but it has been months now since I had the last and at least all the other symptoms are long past. No longer do I suffer with extreme anxiety, nor do I fear bumping into my abuser or anyone of his many allies. My days are calm, normal and I function as well as anyone else I know. So be of good cheer :o)
After a total of 25 years of abuse through two marriages, it isn't surprising that for me it has taken a lot longer than it needed to. Had I known earlier that I was suffering with PTSD there is so much I could have done to heal. May I recommend that if you are reading this, that you seek out professional treatment and don't think that you have to handle the recovery on your own.

My book LOOK ME IN THE EYE - Caryl Wyatt, is still available and if you would like a copy you can order one through my 'ABUSE IS NO EXCUSE' blog which you can see at the top of this page.

Take special care and please visit again and leave a message.

Bella Blu

I may look happy, but simply putting on a brave face for Bella.

Bella

This post is for my precious dog child - BELLA.

When I was married for those of you who may not have read my book, I had 3 dogs one of them Sushi belonged to my youngest daughter but she became mine. She was my absolute soul mate unlike any human could ever be. Sushi spent every waking moment right at my heels or on my lap at the slightest opportunity. I loved the other two, a lab Max and a male maltese Harley but Sushi was my favourite. We were one.

While I was getting divorced my ex husband prevented me having Sushi or even seeing her. He had changed all the locks of our home and there was no way for me to get to her except on occasion I drove past the house we shared and spent time patting the dogs through the security fence.

Three months later Sushi was run over in his drive way and a few months later Harley was run over in the same way. Words cannot describe the pain. There was a huge hole in my heart for a long time.
I vowed I would never have pets again.

About 4 years later my heart relatively healed... I said relatively. I bought another little maltese and called her Bella. Not an original name I know but she was truly beautiful. I have had her for 3 years and not one day has passed that she has not made me laugh. She has a totally different personality to Sushi who was quiet and very submissive. Bella was more energetic and wild at heart. This past 3 years she healed my heart in ways medicine and therapy couldn't. We played together, laughed together and slept together.

The problems started as I got better or should I say my heart started to heal and I became more functional. I needed to work more and socializing was out of the question because she hated being left alone and often I couldn't take her with me. Often when I would be working at home for long periods of time she would sit close by and whimper and I knew she wanted me to play. The two of us would either go for a walk or I threw the ball for her in my garden. As soon as she was tired she would fall asleep on the couch and resume what ever work I was doing. This simply couldn't continue.

The only way I could rationalize finding a new family for her was to continually remind myself that I cannot bare animals kept in cages or captivity period, unless it is for them to be rehabilitated. Bella wasn't happy, of course she was over the moon when I spent time with her but that was becoming more and more difficult.

I have found her a new home where there is another maltese for her to play with and an owner who loves her to bits so all I can do now is trust that I made the right decision for 'her'.

Life constantly has it's twists and turns and we just have to deal with things as they come our way. My life goes on with sadness but tomorrow brings new experiences I am sure.

Hitting Information

Just to let you know, last year from January - December 2011 we had just under 500,000 hits on the ABUSE IS NO EXCUSE website, so many people out there looking for information and help it is so sad, but I am really pleased that we are still offering a service to those in need of help.

Please don't hesitate to email me if you want some support carylw3@mweb.co.za  My book LOOK ME IN THE EYE is still available and is about to go into it's second edition. You can still order a signed copy directly from me just pop me an email.

Stay strong

Information you must read !

If you are on Facebook, please type in After Narcissist Abuse - light, love and laughter, the information posted everyday is extremely helpful and I am sure you will have all your questions answered.

The question still persists.. will they ever change, and the answer is NO.

Narcissist Revisited

Here is the link to a few video's you may want to watch if you are involved with a Narcissist. Dr Sam Vaknin wrote the introduction to my book LOOK ME IN THE EYE and if anyone knows what he is talking about when it comes to the Narcissist he does. Click On Link