Haunted Past

In the last 5 years there have been literally hundreds of times that I have been awake til the early hours of the morning, haunted with memories, both good and bad. Fearing going to sleep incase my dreams are frought with nightmares. I would often dream of the abuse and go through all the emotions all over again, or I would dream that I was blissfully happy with my X and life was great. I think I lived in a dream world of promises and would just never accept the 'truth' that I as not loved enought to be treated with love and respect.
 During the day I was haunted by visiting familiar places and bumping into familiar people. Shopping malls are still my very worst, I hate them... perhaps not a bad thing :o) You get what I mean.