LOOK ME IN THE EYE - Second Edition

The second edition of my book is now available. Please click on the AMAZON LINK

True Recovery from the Psychopath

It has been a long time since I have posted anything about my own recovery and that is possibly because once you are healed completely moving on with your life and enjoying all the wonder of it becomes more important than continuing to talk about it.
I found this amazing blog recently which I think has some incredibly interesting posts on the subject I thought I would share it with visitors to this blog.

TRUE RECOVERY FROM THE PSYCHOPATH. I still receive emails from people via my website and help where I can but perhaps you will find support from others on this site, who are also still struggling to work through the healing. It takes time and discussing things with other survivors is more helpful than doing it on your own.

My book is still available so if you need a copy please contact me via my website or contact me on Facebook.

Stay strong.
Caryl X

LOOK ME IN THE EYE

Hi to all those people out there who have visited my website and still come back time and again to get the information that is available on the site and hopefully get the help you need. My book is still available for anyone who needs a copy all you need to do is contact me and I will make arrangements to get it to you.
Please don't forget to go to the abuse is no excuse blog and you can purchase it there too.

It has been such a long time since I wrote about my own journey and thank goodness those years are long gone and my life has been back on track for a long time. It is so sad to me to know that this is not an unusual story and many women around the world have been through and are still going through similar situations to my own. I don't see things getting any better as far as the legal system goes so all one can hope for is that if you are reading this, you will make the decision yourself to END THE ABUSE. Of course I know that it is not easy and I know when there are children it is even more difficult, but have a plan and stick to it.

I have always thought that being in an abusive relationship is like being held captive, similar to a hostage being held captive by terrorists. The trauma and fear is no different. As women we are SO much stronger than we think we are and when we put our minds to something we can usually achieve the results we need. Plan your escape in the same way. Pray about it, dream it, believe it and put small things in place until one day, you will be free.

Stay strong.
Caryl

 

The sun is shining and the birds are singing in the trees and I am preparing to go off to Clarens for a week on an art retreat with an incredibly talented artist Peter Hall a well known South African artist. I have never been on an art retreat before, which is strange since I am an artist and make my living from art, so this is a real treat. 

For many years I wouldn't have been able to go away with 16 strangers. My own PTSD was so bad that strangers would have pushed my anxiety levels through the roof, today I am going away with great excitement and peace in my heart. Looking forward to meeting people, and looking forward to the whole experience.  I promise to post some pictures when I get back.

Have an awesome week while I am away.

 

The reason for my last post was to enourage those who visit this blog. When you have been to hell and back, life has a completely different value than before. Friendships are more genuine, life is more fun, the sky looks bluer than ever before and the future is promising.

Coincidence? I don't think so. The other day I was searching for some reference photo's to use for some paintings I want to work on. Spending quite a few hours browsing the internet, I came across a picture and followed the link which led to another link . After reading the post it really made me think. I was reading all about someone else, who knows where in the world this person is, but she was struggling with nightmares which really caught my attention.
Many people have difficulties trying to heal a broken heart, the disappointment, the loss, the loneliness. I thought I would share this with you because perhaps you will relate and can also encourage her with your own stories as to how you healed your own life, and if you are also in that same dark space, perhaps you can be of some support for one another.

Persisting Nightmares?

this comes a little surprise I know but 8 years later and the nightmares still persist. Not as often as before, but I do still have them occasionally. Unlike in the past when I woke up either screaming or crying out loud, my nightmares now are intense but over fairly quickly and I am very aware that it is part of the recovery from PTSD and I am told might continue on and off for the rest of my life. I hope not.
I don't want this to sound discouraging, there is little we can do about memories but after many years of struggling the nightmares were the most persistent, but it has been months now since I had the last and at least all the other symptoms are long past. No longer do I suffer with extreme anxiety, nor do I fear bumping into my abuser or anyone of his many allies. My days are calm, normal and I function as well as anyone else I know. So be of good cheer :o)
After a total of 25 years of abuse through two marriages, it isn't surprising that for me it has taken a lot longer than it needed to. Had I known earlier that I was suffering with PTSD there is so much I could have done to heal. May I recommend that if you are reading this, that you seek out professional treatment and don't think that you have to handle the recovery on your own.

My book LOOK ME IN THE EYE - Caryl Wyatt, is still available and if you would like a copy you can order one through my 'ABUSE IS NO EXCUSE' blog which you can see at the top of this page.

Take special care and please visit again and leave a message.

Bella Blu

I may look happy, but simply putting on a brave face for Bella.

Bella

This post is for my precious dog child - BELLA.

When I was married for those of you who may not have read my book, I had 3 dogs one of them Sushi belonged to my youngest daughter but she became mine. She was my absolute soul mate unlike any human could ever be. Sushi spent every waking moment right at my heels or on my lap at the slightest opportunity. I loved the other two, a lab Max and a male maltese Harley but Sushi was my favourite. We were one.

While I was getting divorced my ex husband prevented me having Sushi or even seeing her. He had changed all the locks of our home and there was no way for me to get to her except on occasion I drove past the house we shared and spent time patting the dogs through the security fence.

Three months later Sushi was run over in his drive way and a few months later Harley was run over in the same way. Words cannot describe the pain. There was a huge hole in my heart for a long time.
I vowed I would never have pets again.

About 4 years later my heart relatively healed... I said relatively. I bought another little maltese and called her Bella. Not an original name I know but she was truly beautiful. I have had her for 3 years and not one day has passed that she has not made me laugh. She has a totally different personality to Sushi who was quiet and very submissive. Bella was more energetic and wild at heart. This past 3 years she healed my heart in ways medicine and therapy couldn't. We played together, laughed together and slept together.

The problems started as I got better or should I say my heart started to heal and I became more functional. I needed to work more and socializing was out of the question because she hated being left alone and often I couldn't take her with me. Often when I would be working at home for long periods of time she would sit close by and whimper and I knew she wanted me to play. The two of us would either go for a walk or I threw the ball for her in my garden. As soon as she was tired she would fall asleep on the couch and resume what ever work I was doing. This simply couldn't continue.

The only way I could rationalize finding a new family for her was to continually remind myself that I cannot bare animals kept in cages or captivity period, unless it is for them to be rehabilitated. Bella wasn't happy, of course she was over the moon when I spent time with her but that was becoming more and more difficult.

I have found her a new home where there is another maltese for her to play with and an owner who loves her to bits so all I can do now is trust that I made the right decision for 'her'.

Life constantly has it's twists and turns and we just have to deal with things as they come our way. My life goes on with sadness but tomorrow brings new experiences I am sure.

Hitting Information

Just to let you know, last year from January - December 2011 we had just under 500,000 hits on the ABUSE IS NO EXCUSE website, so many people out there looking for information and help it is so sad, but I am really pleased that we are still offering a service to those in need of help.

Please don't hesitate to email me if you want some support carylw3@mweb.co.za  My book LOOK ME IN THE EYE is still available and is about to go into it's second edition. You can still order a signed copy directly from me just pop me an email.

Stay strong

Information you must read !

If you are on Facebook, please type in After Narcissist Abuse - light, love and laughter, the information posted everyday is extremely helpful and I am sure you will have all your questions answered.

The question still persists.. will they ever change, and the answer is NO.

Narcissist Revisited

Here is the link to a few video's you may want to watch if you are involved with a Narcissist. Dr Sam Vaknin wrote the introduction to my book LOOK ME IN THE EYE and if anyone knows what he is talking about when it comes to the Narcissist he does. Click On Link

 

16 DAYS Activism against Women and Child abuse

If you would like to follow 16 Days of Inspiration please just click on the highlighted link.

PAINE- please ABUSE IS NO EXCUSE

Hi to all those who visit and revisit my blog.
2012 has gone by so quickly it has left me spinning. I had this amazing feeling in January that something really good was going to happen this year and some wonderful things have happened, but I am still expecting more. I used to journal on my blogs quite a bit and share all the interesting things that I was doing on a fairly regular basis, but due to all the different things I am involved in, one by one I had to create new blogs and separate the various things that will interest different people.

This blog is no longer going to be about my recovery or anything to do with abuse I have created a separate blog for those of you who are looking for help and are not interested in what painting I did last week, or where my children are flitting off to on holiday.

http://abuseisnoexcuse.blogspot.com/ I will be posting information on the blog as and when I find information for you and will share some of your stories if you let me. So if you need to be amongst people who understand fully what domestic violence, child abuse, depression and suicide are all about pop over the that blog and we will always be there to try and help.

This blog will eventually become a magazine with all kinds of interesting things for anyone who wants to just drop by and see what I am up to. I have a few more blogs which I have also separated to be more specialized and specific.

If you would like to see more of my blogs here is a list of them.
Abuse is no excuse. Is for anyone who wants to understand domestic violence or needs help.
Peace of Art. Is where you will find all my digital art.
Caryl Park My art work in oils, water colour and mixed media.
Passion for Pewter Says it all. I love doing pewter and I will be posting patterns here for everyone
Coming soon a new blog for ALL JOURNAL LOVERS.

Ciao for now.
Caryl

So Sorry !

I feel like such a creap. It has been a while since I was here, just been really busy with a whole lot lately which I will be able to share fairly soon I hope, all going well. I am working on a new product for retail outlets, which is very exciting. I am sure you will love it.
This blog was started for people who visit my website to see how my progress has been since my divorce... shew can you believe it was 6 years ago! Well that part of my life is so far behind me now that I barely think about those days anymore, so it's all good.
There are still people who contact me from my website www.abuseisnoexcuse.co.za and it sadens me to hear everyone's stories, but I am always here to encourage and share when ever it is needed.
So, for now please pop in now and again to see what I am up to. Hope you are all well and that life is being kind to you.

Cirque du Soleil

Stamps

Every day that I can take my art to new places, is an awesome day. I have been doing Zentangles and doodles for quite a while now and recently I came across the work of Mary Vogel Lozinak. I will find a link to her etsy shop, her work is really excellent and very funny. Mary's work reminded me of some of my own so I sent some of mine for her to see as I didn't think it was worth posting on Facebook or on my blog. Well guess what, she introduced me to a company who makes stamps and they want to make some of mine. Woohoo. I am not making more and more while I sit and watch TV and it fun to think that soon they will be stamps available to anyone who wants them. I will post a link when that happens, in the mean time this is some of my work. I hope you find them as funny as I do!

If you would like to see more of my blogs here is a list of them.
Abuse is no excuse.
Peace of Art. Is where you will find all my digital art.
Caryl Park     My art work in oils, water colour and mixed media.
Passion for Pewter  Says it all. I love doing pewter and I will be posting patterns here for everyone.

I have a new blog that is coming soon which I am very excited about so keep watching this space.