Belated Invitation

I was so annoyed, when I received my invitation today ! I would have run out naked with only my shoes, but I am sure I would have been stopped at the airport!

Philip Treacy Hats and Shoes

Not a hat worn at the wedding today but I loved the huge rose.

No No No what were you thinking!

So pretty.

I am not sure about all these hats, but I would go with the pretty shoes.

The pain will ease in time.

What happens when it doesn't seem as though that is true? Last night I was awake doing art until 2.45am. I was enjoying what I was doing and I was watching several TV programs in the background, but for some reason I was anxious and I wasn't getting tired. My thoughts switched from the TV to the art work I was doing and interrupted often with thoughts of the Royal Wedding. I wondered if Kate would be asleep, or would she be tossing and turning and wake up exhausted, but then I thought maybe she would take some sort of herbal sleeping pill to guarantee at least a few hours of sleep? For the past 5 years sleep has not come easily to me and I have fallen into a pattern of staying up late trying to exhaust myself so that my sleep would be short, but deep. It doesn't work and I often toss and turn so much that I am awake again in the early hours of the morning and then can't go back to sleep.

This morning I wanted to go and spend some time with friends to watch the Royal Wedding, but I knew that it would be an emotional day for me.... weddings always are. I love them, but they always make me cry. Perhaps I still hold that fantasy that marriages are all supposed to have happy endings, or could it be that I am convinced they will be long, painful, hard and might even end in divorce... I don't know, but one thing I do know, is that I always pray sincerely for the couple to be happy. I have a peace that William and Kate will be happy and they will make their marriage work. After analysing their writing, William might not be that easy to live with, not because he isn't a wonderful, kind and sensitive man, but because the pain of the past is still very real to him.

A comment was made this morning on CNN, while the wedding was in progress, that William had made the right choice in Kate. Her parents are still married and she seems to have had a normal happy childhood. Well that is reassuring for William, but Kate cannot say the same. She will now marry into a family that most of the Royal family have been divorced and the children have all been through very similar circumstances to Princess Diana, which has left William more so than Harry, cautious and distrusting of people in general outside of his immediate family. He now possibly has some of the insecurities his mother had. Kate's writing is a lot more confident, out going, relationship orientated, which will be good for him and I think she will be fiercely protective of him, but I think she might struggle with communication with him during stressful times, because she talks emotions and he is not comfortable with that at all. I know what you are thinking... a lot of men aren't! But at the end of the day, I do think they will work things out and will be together forever. So if everyone likes a fairy tale this could be the one.

I started by saying the pain will ease in time... what happens when it doesn't. When ever I listen to a couple saying their marriage vows, I wonder what all the men are thinking when it comes to the part, honour and obey, faithful, sharing in all that they have in the future, in sickness and health, rich or poor, until DEATH? I am not a cynical person or at least I try my hardest not to be, but in my personal experience and the experience of so many of my friends, those vows apply to women and not men.

What happens when TRUST has been shattered, promises broken and one is left feeling that your life has no value to the person you fell in love with and trusted with the most valuable thing you have, your heart... how does one get over that?

My friends said:

Time heals a broken heart.
The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else !!!
You need to get out there and meet new people.
It won't be long and he will be nothing more than a distant memory.

They lied ! Five years later, yes of course I have good days, sometimes good weeks, but so far never a good month.

Attending a wedding is a reminder of all the pain, the sadness of a marriage that failed. Invitations to dinner parties isn't fun being single and driving yourself home late at night. Sleeping alone, night after night is lonely, constant nightmares is exhausting. The stabbing pain in your heart when you least expect it, is relentless. NO the pain does not ease with time.  The only thing that one can do to make life bearable is to keep as busy as possible with things to enjoy, which is why I blog, paint, spend time with family and one or two friends. I enjoy Bella who is a constant source of love and affection and she really makes me laugh. I read a lot and I am sorry to say, but I don't get enough exercise. I do believe that it is easier when you are younger. So if you are young and reading this, there is a lot more hope for you :o) I hope and pray that one day I will wake up and before I realise it... the pain will be gone. I long for that day.

In the meantime, I will continue to share all the wonderful things I am grateful for in the process of healing.

The Royal Wedding of Kate and William

With all the excitement of the Royal wedding tomorrow I cannot help but think of Princess Diana. I wonder if she would have been happy with her son's choice of wife? Would they spend hours in the kitchen making chocolate cake and talking about marriage? Would she have given him a pep talk about how to conduct himself as a husband I wonder. Well we of course will never know, but I am quite sure she would be extremely proud of her son.
I for one will be thinking about Diana tomorrow and thinking of what she would have worn to the wedding... I wonder?
As I professional handwriting analyst I was fascinated to see a sample of their writing and will have a good look at it in the next day or two and give my opinion.

Kate has really beautiful hands and as much as I love the ring and sentiment behind it, but I personally don't think this is her style. Perhaps she will lock it away and wear something else... I wonder?

My day will be spent wrapped up warmly in front of the TV to watch the whole proceedings, all rather exciting and I do wish them all the very best for their future together.

My favourite blog this month.

It has been getting colder and colder lately and this blog has been one of my favourites for a long time, but when I saw this photo I had to share it. Oh wow could I be there right now.

I just love this photo too, always a sucker for pretty frills and lace.

Yummie Easter Treats

Who wants to come over and make some? The recipe for these cute yummie little marshmellows can be found here, along with lots more yummie recipes.

Truly South African 'Shweshwe'

Shweshwe is the fabric not the dress. I have given you the link to read up about the history of Shweshwe and I have added this information for my blogger friends who are fabric artists and there are a few. In the early 70's when I was somewhat of a hippy child, Shweshwe was very popular amongst the hippy crowd. Bare in mind that it was during the apartheid era and white and black people just didn't mix, well most didn't, so wearing african clothes was not the norm. I was living in Lesotho at the time with my then husband who was a musician and I discovered this material while we were there. The material is very stiff with starch when you buy it, but after a couple of washes it becomes really soft and because it is pure cotton it is extremely comfortable to wear. My wardrobe consisted of denim, muslin, cheese cloth, white cotton and Shweshwe.

I used to make a lot of my own clothes in those days so I made skirts, pants, and blouses from Shweshwe. The material comes in lots of different colours now but in those days it was only in blue and brown and of course indigo blue is one of my very favourite colours so everything I had was in the blue.

Milk Tart

I felt like sharing something truly South African the good old Afrikaans Milk Tart. Searching for a yummie picture I found this one and the recipe, neither of which are actually typical but I thought it looked good and the recipe sounds good too. But the real recipe and tart are a little different.

The proper recipe for this can be found here.

There are a couple of different ways of making Koek Sisters but I will share an easy recipe if you want to give it a try. They are disgustingly rich, fattening and morish so beware. Photo
                                                          Easy recipe for Koeksisters.

Adrian Park

My nephews are all extremely talented each in their own way. Adrian the eldes of my brothers four sons, is a keen photographer. I love this photo, because I am sure it leads to a secret garden where there is a waterfall, beautiful flowers and naked faeries. His website is called Endless Instant, I am not sure why, I will have to aske him.

Fiona Ewan Rowett

I know that I am jumping around all over the show... and that's because my mind and life are too, but while I am feeling so unsettled I just wanted to share some of the things I love, it keeps me focused on all the positive things in life. I have been a fan of Fiona's work for years and years, she really is one of South Africa's most talented artists. Go and take a look at her website, I know you will enjoy her work as much as I do.

Fiona Ewan Rowett

Tamara De Lempicka

I saw this in a fellow bloggers blog.. that sounds funny! I used to buy books from a local book store in Cape Town and on one particular day I asked the friend of mine who worked in the shop to recommend a book for me and this was one of them. I read that back of the book and it didn't really grip me, but I bought it anyway. Perhaps my friend thought I would enjoy it as an artist.
It took me quite a few days to get into it, but now I can't put it down. She was a VERY interesting lady! I had seen her paintings before but didn't make the connection I just didn't like them. This is an interesting book to read though and I also want to show you the blog where I found this, go an take a look.

When ever I see an artists work where there are no brush strokes, I want to know how to do that! I have my own way of doing it, but it isn't easy. When I paint a particular area that I want smooth with out any brush marks, then I take a smooth cloth and I wipe the paint into the canvas, is there an easier way? When I want to achieve that smooth look, I don't use an ordinary canvas either. I will try and find out the name of the material on Monday and then post it here for anyone who might be interested.

There is no denying her talent. I love the way she paints hands and legs, elegant, relaxed and beautiful. Oh and I love the dress.