Fantasy Forest

This is a place I go to in my imagination when I need a break.

Work to be done.

Just wanted to drop in and leave a message for those who follow my blog. I haven't written much this week because I have been working really hard trying to finish art work so that I can get as much work out into the shops and galleries. I am almost on top of things and then will be filling up with all kinds of bits and bobs that you might find interesting.

Not having time to play much at the moment. I usually spend several hours in the evenings doing PS manipulations which I also haven't done for a while and I feel like I am going cold turkey. Every now and again things just don't go according to plan, and thats how life is. I don't fight it anymore I simply try and go with the flow.

I did this for a workshop recently and have been playing around with the colours.

Oops

I realised that one can't break up a post like this because the bottom half of the message then becomes the top! So If you want to read this from top to bottom then go the Sympathy- Compassion and read that first then scroll back up to Compassion... still learning how to blog properly :o)

Compassion

After the book was published I felt so much compassion for the thousands of other women just like me that I had to become pro active which is why I started the organisation PAINE. For 5 years I have worked tirelessly at connecting with other organisations, counselling people who would contact me from my website or who had read my book. I spoke at several conferences, radio, television, interviews for newspapers, magazines, psychologists and churches. For 5 years I have not earned a salary and I have invested EVERYTHING into doing what ever I could to help other families. Needless to say this has all cost money and I was recently considering closing down the organisation due to lack of funds, sponsors and donations.

This morning when I heard that program on Sympathy - Compassion. I knew, I just cant stop now. Perhaps I will take a break for a while and focus on my art work. I enjoy what I do and that is where the money comes in, so for now thats what I am going to be doing. But in a month or two I will pick up my cross and continue the work that I feel passionately and Compassionate about. I just cannot give up now. When I think of the children in these homes where mothers and fathers are screaming and shouting at each other, the fear that they live with is terrible. I have grand children and to think of my own grandchildren in anyway experienceing what my children when through... that is what really drives me.

And so.... the work continues. All I ask of you if you are reading this... please do one small thing to help those children. Make a donation to a charity in your area, take old clothes and household items to a shelter but please do something.

I doubt that my own life would have been such hell, if someone had just said or done something. I cannot and will not be silent.

Sympathy - Compassion

I was watching a program this morning which really moved me. The message was about Sympathy and Compassion. Sympathy is a FEELING one has for another person, Compassion is MOVING for another person. When I got divorced 5 years ago I felt tremendous sympathy for the thousands of other women just like myself who have experienced any kind of abuse from the people who said they loved them. But most of all I really felt very sad for the child with in me. My childhood was abusive and I swore it would never happen to me as an adult and more importantly I would never allow my own children to grow up in an abusive home. Well I did.

When I wrote my book my intention was to show COMPASSION to other women around the world and to create more awareness of how families suffer at the hands of an abusive partner. I started the organisation of PAINE - Abuse Is No Excuse with the website of the same name adding all the informtion that I could, from all the sources that I had found help myself. Five years ago I stumbled upon a website called MSN- Narcissistic Personality Disorder which was a website for victims of Domestic Violence. I was amazed at the amount of information I found there. For many months I interacted with many other women in the same situation as myself. The most important thing for me at the time was to realise that I was not alone.

Suddenly for the first time in 50 years, things started to make sense for me and so my healing began. I was so utterly desperate and alone that I knew I had to write a book and share my own story so I started to journal. Well I filled 6 journals full, with stories, art work, hatred, tears and pain. But from those journals my book was written and published.

Multi media - mosaic

Now that I have my whole life back I am going to throw myself totally into my art so I am pulling out all the bits and pieces that I have made since I have been in Cape Town and discipline myself to do a little bit of everything. I found this at the back of my cupboard today and thought I would like to make a few more of these, they ar fun to do and I can use up all ,my bits n bobs.

Soul Dance

When my soul will dance amidst the stars and tears will disappear.

The Time Has Come

This is a very sad day for me, but one that has been comming for a long time. 5 Years ago after a very devastating divorce I was so close to death I knew that I had to do SOMETHING to help other victims just like my self. I decided to write my book and start an organisation to try and help other victims. In the past couple of years my book is being read around the world, I receive emails all the time from other victims. The organisation and website was created so that I could raise funds to help others. I didn't need the money, but I knew thousands of other woman did. In all this time I have spoken on TV, radio, been interviewed for several magazines and I have not received any donations or sponsors to do this work. I don't even want to calculate what it has cost me in $ or in time and energy, but I cannot continue.

My book is still available, but for how long I don't know. Once people have read the book there are plenty more on the shelves to take it's place.

My heart breaks, will people ever DO anything. Abuse around the world is out of control and we all complain, but what is being done. I know that my own conscience is clear, I have given everything I have for the past 4 years, and it is time for me to move on.

I hope that my book will continue to sell around the world, it is available form AMAZON.COM and the funds will continue to go to those who need it.

I want to thank all those people from across the globe for their support in the past 4 years. I appreciate it so much. The organisation of PAINE- Abuse is no excuse has been officially closed down. The website and all its information will still be available but I will no  longer be actively involved or be able to offer any assistance of any kind.

 Caryl

><)))o>

At the end of the day.

If ever I have seen a picture that portrays me, this one is IT.

I love this artist. http://wingdthing.deviantart.com/gallery/

Head in the clouds

An appartment block just down the road from me.

The lonely life guard.

Watch this space I want to manipulate this picture.

Sounds of Silence

No alteration to the colour contrast in the picture this is exactly what it looked like. I can spend hours on the beach when it looks like this. It was chilly but not unpleasant. Pity I didn't take my journal with me and an ipod.

A Misty Morning

On the way back from a pewter class the mist was still have on the beach and I just wanted to go down onto the beach and enjoy the peace and quiet. Oh how peaceful it was. No one was on the beach and it was lovely.

Collage Art

The picture below is the true colour but this one was altered in Photoshop. I wanted something soft, perhaps to use in a guest bedroom but when I altered the contrast in PS I quite liked the darker version.

Collage Art

This art piece is done the same way as my other serviette or napkin art. Every now and again I just have to throw something together for fun.

Poor Mans Porche

I am sure this is not only the owners transport but probably his home as well.

Yummie Pancakes

I laugh at my daughters they do all the things I wish I had the freedom to do. I constantly watch my weight and would love to tuck into a desert like this!

The Future Is Beautiful

I recently went to a Family Constellations workshop with two of my daughters. On the drive home we stopped at the top of a hill to take a photo of this beautiful stretch of beach not far from where I live. Is this view not absolutely spectacular? The house in the foreground on the right reminds me so much of the home I year ago. I miss it a lot.

World Cup

We are hosting the world cup soon, so I haven't been having much time to blog as I am working day and night to get some art work together for the next couple of months. I have a small factory going here on my kitchen counter tops, the floor, my desk where ever I am looking all I can see is art work! I am not complaining this is a good time for me work wise.

I am also trying to find a new webmaster for my website so things are going to change there as well. I hope visitors to all my sites will be patient for the next few weeks. Keeping an organisation going costs money and there hasn't been a lot of that for a while so I have to focus on keeping the funds comming in. I will be posting art work every now and again so please keep popping in I enjoy the company. :o)