Wednesday, October 26, 2011

My secret place

Step into my world

There are places that I go when I meditate, I have never shared this before, but as I am walking through the journey of healing would you like to join me on this one. YOU ARE INVITED

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


I love sharing links with people who follow my blog. Since I am on the subject of healing I had to share this blog with you Healing Woman. I have always loved the idea that there is a Goddess with in all women. I am also very keen to try sculpture and would love to do my grandchildren, am I biting off too much do you think? Scroll through this blog there are some lovely things to see and read.


For the next few weeks I will be posting issues to deal with PTS on this site as well as the other blog ABUSE IS NO EXCUSE, link because we are coming to that time of the year when we are dealing with the issues of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. PTS can be the result of any trauma, but I am relating it to DV.

If you are struggling with insomnia please go to this website. On virtually every program that I have been watching lately, Dr. Phil, Oprah, 3 Talk, Final Justice, CI and various magazines, they are all covering Domestic Violence. It may be boring, depressing for those who have never worn those shoes, but it is far worse for those who have, or are still there. Please be patient, we are all trying our best to bring awareness to this global problem and find some solutions.

I am sharing my own experience on the other blog, please go there if you struggle with lack of sleep and nightmares.

Saturday, October 22, 2011


Many Christians are against the idea of practising Yoga. I remember many years ago being taught in my church that we are not to practice any Eastern religious practices. I don't see yoga as anything more than a wonderful form of exercise and meditation practice. The bible does speak of, 'Seek the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding'. 'Be still and know that I am God'. Every religion teaches we are to learn to be quiet and meditate.
Stress and depression can affect anyone, meditation and massage is a wonderful way to find healing it has been researched and proven that these practices increase cortisol, the feel good hormone.

Monday, October 17, 2011


For the artists who follow my blog look at the rest of Bruno Leyval's art.
I am sorry I have not been here for quite awhile. I always have to remember that this blog was started in 2007 so that I could share my recovery from Domestic Violence and perhaps help other victims.
It sure as heck has been one long tough journey.
Art has been my outlet for all my frustrations, struggles, escape, and healing and I am still not there yet. The biggest problem that I find is that professionals don't diagnose correctly. It is all well and good when people have struggles in life to say... why don't you see a therapist? I have, many of them and I am sure many other victims of violence have as well, but if you don't see the right person it can add to the fear, disappointment, PTS and ultimately healing. In my own case it has been 3 steps forward, 2 steps back.
This reminds me a lot of when I was younger and had anorexia when I was modelling. Many people commented on my weight or lack of it... you look so skinny, you look fabulous, you need to eat more, you look terrible... but no one said... I think you are anorexic. In those days, way back then... no one knew about anorexia until Karin Carpenter died and Jane Fonda admitted having Bulimia. So it wasn't as well known as it is today. I cannot blame anyone for not confronting me, I didn't think I had a problem.

Most of the time it has to get this bad before anyone will say... this is anorexia and you are going to die unless you get some help.
PTSD is much the same. People say... oh you must be so much happier on your own, at least the abuse has stopped and you don't have to live with that anymore.... but no one knows what is happening on the inside. Yes I was glad I was away from my abuser. He is not my enemy... my memory is. I thought I was doing just fine and slowly but surely I would be happy again, but I was doing all kinds of things to avoid facing the truth. I was completely broken on the inside, cracked, and bleeding profusely. No one could see that, so as long as I looked okay on the outside people around me thought I must be doing alright... not so. As long as I could keep myself busy doing my artwork 24/7, drink umpteen cups of tea, stay away from the outside world.... I would be fine... WRONG. I was setting myself up for a complete break down by denying the severity of my situation. I did try to get professional help but I don't think anyone thought I was struggling as much as I was.
When is enough enough? When is the day that it all comes crashing down, what will it take for the pain to end and healing to begin? I was constantly being told... I am so strong and brave... I wasn't... I was hanging on by my fingernails.
I am going to be journalling about PTSD on my ABUSE IS NO EXCUSE BLOG so please go over there and follow me if you need some help.