Monday, October 18, 2010

Fascinating artwork

I want to try and add a link without all the gumph. Take a look here at this fascinating piece of artwork. Aha, I finally did it.

Beach Journal

This little journal was made from some material I found on the beach, a piece of drift wood and a pebble.

Pewter Indian slippers

I painted these a few weeks ago and decided to make them in Pewter. I am pleased with the results and will no doubt have to make some more.

Multi Media Cross

Multi media hand made tiles.

Lace beautiful Lace

I am going to have to beg forgiveness. I stole this from the internet somewhere, earlier this year when searching for hearts. Please forgive me if this is yours, let me know and I will add your link.

I have always loved lace, love it, it love it. Have a look at this beautiful blog give away These girls are all so fortunate to have all these creative fares to go to, I am so jealous.

I am having my early Birthday celebrations this weekend and one of the things I have asked for as a gift, just incase my friends don't know what else to buy for me, I want a piece of lace sprayed with my friends favourite perfume, a family photo, maybe a CD of music from the 50's, like Nat king Cole, or Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra or anything similar. I also want my friends to give me something that belongs to them.

Now that should save them a shopping trip and I will have something really special that means something to me.
 Isn't this gorgeous?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes.

5# Robin Brown

Love love love her clothes.

5# Magnolia Pearl

If I was true to myself... hummm I know you are probably thinking...well why aren't you? It isn't quite that simple although it should be. When you have been abused your whole life, you don't know who you are. You have been told what to think, what to like, what to do, what to wear. No the abuser might not say, don't wear that, or don't be friends with that person. But they do it in subtle ways. If you like loose flowing clothes for example, they will point out other women wearing tight jeans and skimpy tops and say, 'why don't you dress like that, it would suit you' !
One needs to understand that an abusive partner doesn't ever want you to be who you really are, the person they met! The day they meet you, will be the day they begin to change you. The way you dress, the way you speak, your friends, your hobbies, your family, even your career if they can!
So, if I was true to myself,  my wardrobe would be full of clothes from Magnolia Pearl. Robin Brown is quite the most interesting, artistic, beautiful person, with the cutest little grandmother, and it all comes through in her clothes

4# The home of my dreams.

I was answering a questionaire the other day - where would you like to live?

1. In the city.
2. In the mountains - country.
3. At the coast.
4. In the wild.

First I would choose the coast, and second I could easily live on a game farm - in the wild with elephants and lions, but my first choice would be to live in a beautiful home like the ones above. I would wear this pretty littel white chemise and my wardrobe would be full of clothes from Magnolia Pearl. I would play soft beautiful music by day and burn sented candles at night.

Monday, October 11, 2010

3# I love a beautiful forest

There is something so enchanting about a forest. The smells, the crisp air and the peace and quiet is so tender on my soul. To discover castles, unicorns, faeries and treasures deep with in the woods is always a possibility and keeps me searching and believing.

Bella is Bisexual!

Oh Lord, what am I going to do now. When I was ill, I took Bella to her Mom and Dad for a few days so that I could try and get some sleep without her licking my face and trying to bite my toes. I had my concerns, but when she came home she was different. She is my little princess, but for some strange reason, she was doing funny 'boy' things. I love her dearly, and I know I am going to have to deal with this, but... I am shocked! I don't want to make a big deal about this, but... she is getting really passionate about my leg, and her toys. I mean... I did her hair all nice and pink and things so that she could be all lady like and stuff...but no...she is going to be rebellious!
Life is really challenging me. Even my dog is putting me to the test!
I took her today for a facial and nail clip and the whole toot, so that she can feel 'proud to be female'. and the first thing she does is come home and .... no I don't want to tell you.

I am going to think about how I am going to handle this!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Bella's new hair do.

The other day Bella went to visit downstairs. When she came home, she was filthy and had been playing in the mud with Kelly. She came bounding upstairs and jumped all over my white bed, rolled around on my white rug and then jumped on my cream couch, which I am giving away anyway, but still ! I was furious.
So... I gave her a bath and then put colour in her hair to remind her that she is a girl not a boy and must learn to behave like one. As you can see from these pictures, she is not amused!

God sometimes uses people !

I don't know how angels manage to do that, but every once in a while an earth angel will post a message that you know, that you know, you needed to hear. You know those messages that cut straight through all the defences and go straight to the heart.  Fiona's message was sent so timeously and was well received.

I am fortunate - blessed... which ever! when I am sick, I have time to think and question stuff and this time has been no different.

I have a dear friend who lives in another city.... she knows who she is... she has offered to try and help me from a distance. I have a friend down the road who wants me to move in with her so that she can look after me... I have the landlord downstairs who has offered to look after my dog and bring me some soup. I have said no to everyone... I am fine. I have food in my fridge, I like my own bed, and I need my dog. Please just leave me alone, I will be fine. I should never ask people to leave me day they just might!

I was thinking yesterday, and last night, and this morning.... Why do I find it so hard to accept love in action..why why why ! To accept love... means 'you' have the power to hurt me, and 'you' might when I least expect it. Who is YOU and who are THEY... those darn people who actually may not even exist except in our own sick minds.

It has taken me 5 years to pick myself up and it has been really hard this time I aint no spring chicken anymore, as you get older everything gets harder, even going to the loo! I don't mean going to the loo, I mean walking to the loo when you are ill.

My ex husband used to leave me in hospital for weeks and not visit, if I was there because of him or if I was there for any reason, he would not come and see me. Desperate for some affection, I learned to pretend that I wasn't that sick! or that I wasn't in pain! When I was a child my mother wasn't very nurturing either, she would say things like "you won't die  from this... or stop being a baby, you aren't the only one to feel sick"
I have had that message for 60 years, so I guess the message I received was clear ...I DARE NOT be ill because other people don't like you when you are ill.... WHAT A LIE.

I don't ever recall my mother or my 3 ex husbands nurturing me when I was ill. In fact, this LAST one... yes I mean LAST one. He saw me being ill as an opportunity to go out with his friends to party. I am not sharing this on the internet to gain sympathy, I am honestly trying to share these stories so that people will understand how we become victims and why we stay victims.

I watched a Dr Phil program the other day about Generational Curses... not the voodoo doll kind, but the normal B..... #$%^ alcoholism, abuse, incest... etc etc. I thank God that I am someone who wants to know WHY. I am doing everything in my power, to understand my past, acknowledge it, but to DENY it anymore power over me. That doesn't happen in a split second of wisdom, it happens with every new choice I have to  make, every obstacle that I face , every new morning, is another opportunity for me to say... I AM GOING TO MAKE SOME CHANGES.

Therapists do have their place and sadly, many of them do try and keep their patients dependent and try to hold them captive. It is a tough call. Those who say I will never see a therapist and those who can't survive without them. Personally, I would not be where I am today without seeing a professional person. Humm... trust me some of the ones I have seen should have had their license suspended. It is a personal choice, but after this last stretch... I am done. You know when you are over it, when you can tell your therapist more about themselves than they can tell you!

I have decided along with many of my friends, that Co Dependency is not a curse, like I have been lead to believe. I am not going to split hairs on this one, except to say. I like caring about people, I always have and always will, but I am also learning to care about me too.

Something else is happening at the moment, which I will share when I am feeling a bit better.