Wednesday, June 16, 2010


I love this picture it so depicts who I am and who I have always been and who I will always be.


I was thinking today... we all try and avoid pain of any sort. But pain is not an emotion to avoid but rather to embrace, because it is only through the experience of pain that we learn some very valuable life lessons. I am in so much pain at the moment. Fear of going backwards and fear of moving forward.
I am about to move back to Johannesburg, a city I really don't like much and never did, but my daughters and grandchildren are there and I love them dearly. My fear is that not only do I not enjoy the city but I have horrible memories of living there, that I will have to face. Pain teaches us what is good for us and what is not.
My pain has been ignored for most of my life and as a result I have done many things to mask and disguise it, but now that I have the time to 'feel' it and acknowledge it, I have the opportunity to deal with it.
No one has control over me, only those I give permission, and I have done that in the past, it is now a new phase for me, a time to be authentic and secure with who I am and what I want and those around me will have to either accept me for who I am or move along.... swiftly.
Pain has taught me so many things about life, my journey from birth to death and I am grateful if somewhat reluctant to accept all of those hard lessons.
God said - 'I have a plan and a purpose for you and that is to prosper and not harm you'. That is hard to digest sometimes when we insist on doing things our way and resist the consequences of those choices.
One thing I never do, is resist change, it comes with the willingness to move forward and do and experience something new... I am willing.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Break Out and be free

Every now and again I have to break away from my usual art style and do something different and crazy. I have been playing with these little paintings using all kinds of textures and 'stuff'. I am not crazy about the end result, but hey, I think they could be cute in a teenage bedroom or something, tell me what you think.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

God speaks loud and clear in silence.

Oh I am thrilled, today is the first day that I feel human. I had flu for the whole month of May. I have no doubt at all that the universe, who I call God, has been trying to say something to me for a long time.... I heard! I can be hard of hearing at times. No I do not believe that God makes us sick, I think we make ourselves sick we do things that are not in line with what God wants for us, we allow our bodies to be under nourished, we work too hard, we don't rest, we pay far too much attention to all the things we should ignore and illness finds a place to rest in us.
I was forced to take some time off and relax and God speaks loud and clear in silence. There are many things I have learned in life and continue to learn and I am grateful for all of life's lessons. I am back watch this space.